Greetings, Friends ~
There are times in our lives that can only be described as moments. Those moments can seem few and far between but they breath life into the mundane of day-to-day. As we move forward we each leave marks on the world – good and bad. Those marks are webs which trail behind us and connect to other webs spun by people close in our lives. Those webs all connect to the larger web of the world. They are expansive, so much so that it can be overwhelming to follow even one strand to the point of its origin, especially when we approach middle-age.
My now-husband and I recently started weaving a new web. By arrangement of a formal wedding just several days ago, we legally connected our lives in a way that says from this point forward, we partner to weave only one. Insodoing, we leave the tangled and undesirable “relationships-gone-wrong” strands behind us forever. We accept each other’s successes and failures, and make the agreement that whatever life throws in our direction henceforth, we face it united.
We made a firm decision to document this union with very few family members, colleagues and friends present. The guests list was very short, as we each have so many people close in our lives it would have been impossible to include even half. We agreed to be very methodical with the invitations, knowing that people we love understand that not every party can be a large one. As difficult as the selection process was, we were happy with our intimate, backyard wedding. The entire day, from start to finish, was a moment…never to be forgotten. The web we began weaving together that day is completely in sync, each strand beautifully trailing behind us and connecting our now one-life to the web of larger life on this planet.
Joining lives at 40-and-50-something will naturally have its challenges, but for us it was an easy journey once we finally met. There was no decision, per se, to stay together. From early on, our entire relationship was a discussion of logistics. Our families melded completely. Those who care about us were immediately and fully supportive once our engagement became public, knowing the very difficult life circumstances we had both overcome on our journey to here.
As so many who found themselves repeatedly single in this day and age, we had past relationship failures, engagements we called off and whatever other wrong turns we corrected along the way. As any single person today knows, you can kiss a lot of frogs en route to your perfect mate. For us, those unfortunate people who focus on past experiences are few. We keep good company these days and have a great support system. Being single and navigating the current dating climate is not for the weak. Resilience is key, and we have both become rock-solid in our boundaries and ethics which defined what we were looking for. We find the few negative associations easy to ignore. My husband and I are busy living a happy, healthy and amazing life together. That leaves little energy for things that do not concern us.
Like everyone this age, my husband and I left web strands behind us that were beautiful and unique. We also each had a few tangled, messy webs which we were happy to detach from. On the most positive side of our union, he has two amazing adult children and I have two (one, deceased). I also have an amazing son-from-another-mother who is a solid fixture in our life. These adult children have all grown to be awesome people who considered themselves siblings since early on. Like anyone, we have life complexities that apply to our situation, but they seem simple to us. Joining our lives was one of the easiest things either of us has ever done. As I repeatedly stated at our wedding, THIS we got right.
Considering every good thing and bad thing, success and failure, mistake and accomplishment, we know that life cannot be perfect here on this planet. But when you find that person that makes every single day feel like one big moment, you hang onto that person forever. For us, life has become as close to perfect as it can be. You could say that our life is now perfectly imperfect – a profound blessing I wish for everyone.